Stop Giving Candy to My Children

The adults of this country have learned that they can coerce the behavior they want from children by offering them candy. Great! Or is it? As a matter of fact, we are currently in the midst of an epidemic of obesity, diabetes, and other disorders stemming from the consumption of too much fat and sugar. The adults of this country have, of course, realized the great harm they are doing by handing out candy and have completely stopped.

Just kidding! Actually, nearly every adult who is responsible for the welfare of my children gives them candy on a regular basis. Their school teachers, church teachers, and ecclesiastical leaders all give them candy. They often get candy from somebody every single day of the week! This is excessive. I love the things you people do for my children, and I have a great deal of respect for you, but stop giving them candy! You are killing them! If they are misbehaving, tell me, so I can teach them appropriate behavior. But the teaching of appropriate behavior normally does not involve candy! If you don't know how to teach children how to behave without offering candy, then please ask me, and let's share techniques for motivating children to behave properly because they want to behave properly, not because they want a sweet, but deadly, reward.