Stories

This is a collection of stories that I think are worth telling. The subjects vary and, for now at least, there is little organization to these stories. I'll work on that. Sometime.

Cat Stories

I grew up with a bunch of siblings and approximately 12 million cats. A few stories were bound to come out of that.

The Great Telephone Pole Climbing Contest

I attended an LDS seminary while I was in high school. I would go stand out on the road behind my house (yes, there is a road behind that house) and wait for one of the attendees who had a car to stop by and pick me up. The cats really liked me, because I knew just the right spot on their necks to rub, so they would often follow me out to the road. (We lost a few of them that way, too, squished flat while I was in seminary.)

One morning I was standing there waiting with a herd of cats milling around my feet. Suddenly, one of them took off running, and used its speed to climb several feet up a nearby telephone pole. It then looked down, backed down a little, then dropped to the ground. As it did, another cat took off running, and went up the pole. I watched in amazement as one cat after another ran and climbed the pole. I swear they were having a pole climbing contest.

The Mostest

I've had a few cats that I remember as being “the most” something-or-other of any cat I've had. Here's a partial list:

• Most vocal: that's our current cat, Frances. She's always yakking at me about something. I wish I knew what she was trying to tell me. Maybe Timmy is in the well.
• Weirdest: when I was kid, we had a female cat that did not want to be petted. Attempts to pet her just made her drop to her belly as she tried to evade the hand above. However, she really liked belly rubs. She'd roll over on her back and offer her belly if she thought someone was trying to pet her. Then she'd lie there on her back and purr loudly as her belly was rubbed. Maybe she was a dog in disguise.
• Stupidest/most fun-loving: same cat, our long-lost Whitey. That cat was in constant play mode from the second we got him. This really annoyed our other cats, because he was constantly leaping from ambush on them, which they found very unnerving. However, he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Once, one of our cats took sick and died. When I found the body, I went to make preparations to dispose of the body properly. When I came back with my supplies, I found Whitey leaping upon and mock attacking the body. He was so stupid that he couldn't even tell that his playmate was dead. He disappeared about 7 months after we moved to a new house, and we haven't seen him since. I'm betting that he saw something interesting across the street, then couldn't remember how to get home.